


My First and My Last

by ImagineColors



Series: Twd Angst [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Carl Grimes, Carl needs a hug, F/M, First Kiss, Hurt Carl Grimes, M/M, One-Eyed Carl Grimes, Sad, Sad Carl, Self Harm, Trigger Warning!, Twd Angst, ron didn't die, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineColors/pseuds/ImagineColors
Summary: What if Carl feels like no-one loves him? What if Carl had a crush on Ron this whole time, even after he got shot? What if Ron liked him back? What if it was too late…?I wasn't sure if this would be triggering, so just in case I put up the warning.





	My First and My Last

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on making a whole series of super short and sad stories of mostly angst with Carl. If you guys like one story enough, I might even make a part two. Enjoy.

_No-one likes me. No-one cares. If I die, no-one will notice._

These thoughts filled Carl's mind. He repeated them over and over as he took his knife out of its sheath and let it hover over his wrist.

He was sure of his decision but just in case he paused and made sure he was completely sure before going on with it

Then, he knew this was what he wanted and started to cut his arm in an upwards motion, not stopping until he was about an inch and a half away from the crook of his elbow.

He marveled in the pain as he watched the blood seep out of his arm and slowly drip onto his bedroom floor. The pain was intense, but he knew he could handle some more.

Once again, he glided his knife right where he had sliced the last time he cut. He ended up dropping his knife because of the pain shooting up and down his arm.

Gripping his arm, he cried out and fell to his knees, hoping that no-one could hear him.

Meanwhile, Carl's wish failed as Rick and Michonne were downstairs and they heard strange noises coming from above.

"I'll go check on him," Rick said to Michonne and trudged up the stairs, wondering what Carl was doing.

Rick opened the door to Carl's room and saw him on his knees, holding his bleeding arm to his chest, a bloody knife right next to him.

"_Oh my fucking god!_" Rick exclaimed and ran towards Carl.

Michonne heard the commotion and ran up the stairs and into Carl's room. She was horrified at what she saw and ran into the bathroom, grabbed a towel from under the sink, and ran back to Carl and tried putting pressure on his cut.

"Stop," Carl said weakly, trying to shove Michonne's hand out of the way. "Just let me die."

"Carl, no," Michonne protested and kept the towel on his arm.

"Why?" Rick asked, tears welling in his eyes. It was all he could say as he watched his son bleed out.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Carl answered, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Just go away."

"Carl-" Michonne tried, but Carl just shook his head.

"Leave," he ordered. Nobody knew what to do.

While that was going on, Ron had come up to their house's door and knocked. He, after a long while of thinking, had finally decided to tell Carl about his feelings for him.

He knocked again with still no answer.

"Hello?" Ron called out and slowly opened the door. When he looked around, he couldn't see anyone. But then he heard some crying coming from upstairs and walked up.

When he finally went to the outside of Carl's room, he could see everything going on as the door was still open.

When he finally realized what was going on, he walked up to the three of them and kneeled down on front of Carl.

Ron wanted to say "What is going on?" but was only able to let out a small "What…?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" Carl asked weakly (the blood was leaving him fast and he kept refusing the towel by Michonne). In his opinion, Ron being here just made things worse. _Way worse._

"I wanted to tell you something, but that doesn't matter. We need to get you more help," Ron said quickly and went to get up.

"Since when did you care?!" Carl yelled as loud as he could. That got Ron a bit pissed off.

"Ever since I learned that I loved you!" Ron yelled back, but then covered his mouth in shock. He wasn't expecting to say that.

Carl stared at him in shock, then he started to sob. "I-I thought-" He took a deep breath, trying to hold on and tried again. "I thought no-one cared. That you didn't care. I wanted to kill myself…" Carl drifted off, feeling himself fade away a little.

"**No**," Ron ordered, grabbing onto Carl's shoulders. "You're not leaving me."

"I'm sorry," Carl whispered. "I'm so sorry to all of you." He closed his eye and got ready to die, pain still shooting up his arm.

"Carl…" Ron said softly. "Don't be sorry."

Rick and Michonne shared a glance, but stayed quiet, letting the boys to their thing.

"Ron," Carl whispered back, eye still closed. "I love you."

"I love you too, Carl," Ron said and pressed his lips against Carl's.

Carl moved his lips against Ron's, feeling him, tasting him.

He felt both Rick's and Michonne's hands on his back for comfort. Then, he realized something.

_That was the first kiss I have ever gotten in that way,_ Carl thought. _And my last…_

With his lips against Ron's, Carl slowly, and finally, passed away…

**Author's Note:**

> Omg how did you like it?! Did you cry? Tell me!
> 
> If enough people like it, I might do a part two of this sometime! 
> 
> But for a different story, I might have a special treat in mind…so keep in touch! It might take a while for this one, but I'll post ASAP!
> 
> Keep the rest of your day happy! (If you can lol!) :p


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